For many people, "networking" at an event where they don't know anyone is slightly more pleasant than a sharp stick in the eye.
Here are some tips for making the most of an event, without losing your authenticity. Maybe you'll even end up having a good time!
1. Before the Event. Review the invite list and see if there's anyone you know or who is in your extended circle (friend of a friend, colleague of a colleague etc). Research the event topic and come up with one or two sound bytes–why you're at the event, what you think of the topic, what you do and how the topic or group is relevant to you. If appropriate, let the organizer know that you are eager to meet certain people and see if they will facilitate the introduction. Finally, eat something before you attend, so you are not diving into the buffet or scarfing down chicken when you could better use your time. Also, if you're anything like me, when you are hungry, the world seems like a much less friendly place–so don't let your blood sugar drop!
2. At the Event. Dress nicely, in something professional and that makes you feel good. Look for the people you wanted to meet. If you don't see someone to talk to right away, chat up the hosts and let them know you're new. They may introduce you. Or chat up the person at the drink line behind you. Remember that most of the other people are equally uncomfortable and
will appreciate your friendly overtures.
Plan to spend no more than 5-10 minutes with each person. Ask them about themselves, and look for ways to connect. You are not trying to find a client–you are laying the groundwork for a new relationship. Your goal is to learn something about the person, and connect in some way that makes them remember you. After a few minutes, separate gracefully, maybe saying, "I'll let you mingle with others now: it's been great getting to know you and I look forward to seeing you at future events." If you want to get to know them further, you can always follow up after the event. Don't try to meet everyone in the room. A few real connections are infinitely more valuable than a handful of business cards.
3. After the Event. Follow up with everyone you met. If you met someone that you really liked, or who might be a good business connection, send them something of value, or suggest a future meeting. But send a note to everyone. And add them all to your database with a note about where you met. You may want to send a note to the event organizer, thanking them for the event and sharing the value you received (people met, learnings from speaker etc). Event organizers work hard and appreciate the feedback–and often know most of the people in the room. Who knows? They may even invite you to speak one day.
The happiest people i know seem to be the ones living integrated lives, where there aren't clear deliniations between work and personal. The researchers at Gallup have found that the happiest employees are the ones who have a "best friend" at work. If you can build authentic relationships within your professional community, both your career and your personal life will benefit.
